


Fine, You Can Have Your Way, But I'm Gonna Complain About It

by medumyce



Category: This Body's Not Big Enough for Both of Us - Edgar Cantero
Genre: Crossdressing, Dressing, or in zooey's case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/medumyce/pseuds/medumyce
Summary: Kimrean's never been the femme fatale before, but there's a first time for everything.





	Fine, You Can Have Your Way, But I'm Gonna Complain About It

“I don’t like this.”

“Well… I don’t like binding.” Zooey pauses. “Also, it’s like, not even you. It’s a character.”

Kimrean frowns. Zooey’s hand continues to apply mascara; Adrian’s hand clutches the edge of the sink. He’s mad, but she’s right.

“You sure they couldn’t find… I don’t know… an actual woman to do this?”

Zooey’s hand remains unbothered. “I _am_ an actual woman,” she says. “And you’re you, so with my sex appeal and your unfettered genius, we’re unstoppable.” She smiles at their reflection; at him. “You’re my secret weapon, Aidy.” 

“Why do I have to be the secret weapon?” he whines.

“’Cause midlife-crisis-having mob bosses are more likely to chat up a hot lady than an awkward, emotionless twink, and by the way, _same._ ”

“First of all, I’m not a twink,” Adrian says. “Also—I swear to god if you try to get in anyone’s pants—"

“I’m not gonna try and fuck anyone, come on.” Zooey pretends to be offended. “It’s only a couple hours. I’ll do the talking; you don’t even have to socialize, basically.”

“Unless you do something stupid. In which case I’m taking over and you can’t complain,” he says, then realizes they’re still just wearing underwear. “You’re supposed to do makeup _after_ you get dressed, dumbass.”

“Oh, well, sorry, Cher Horowitz.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Whatever.”

Fine, so maybe he knew distracting her with half-assed vitriol wasn’t going to work. Zooey still finishes their makeup; Adrian braces himself. He’s the one that screws their eyes shut as Zooey gropes for the swathe of silk thrown over the shower curtain. 

Well, okay, the dress is soft. Adrian can deal with that. This is Zooey’s show, it’s not him—it’s her wearing the dress, not him. He’s being childish, and he doesn’t fucking care, but maybe he kind of does, because maybe he feels a little bad for Zooey, sometimes, so he’s going to let her wear the goddamn dress and then tomorrow is going to be normal.

“Come on, open ‘em up.”

“This is the dumbest, most useless fucking thing we’ve ever…”

Kimrean’s left hand pats their right arm comfortingly.

“…fuck, fine.”

Kimrean’s dimensionless, not-quite-male-not-quite-female body is zipped into a formal dress. Their chest is unbound for the first time since the dawn of the Cretaceous. Their curves—okay, not curves—straights—are outlined in midnight blue, and one of their legs pokes out of a slit that is way too high to be a good idea, _Zooey,_ no, fuck you, this is great. Better than great—this is the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Okay, maybe not. But it’s up there.

“Yeah?” Zooey says quietly, and Adrian knows she’s elated.

He lets out a breath through their nose. “You look nice. I guess.”

“Hell yeah, I do!” she explodes, and high-fives herself. “Tonight’s gonna be great! I promise I’ll make sure we don’t die or anything.”

Adrian tries to tell himself that this is a bad idea, but he has to admit that he feels confident striding out of his porcelain kingdom—or maybe that’s just Zooey bleeding over, but whatever. It’s ruined a little when she reaches for the hat sitting on their desk, and he has to stop her. “Not tonight. Don’t want to stand out.”

“Right.”

Adrian, of course, hears everything that goes unspoken. “I know it’s weird, but it’s only a couple hours. Like you said.” 

Zooey perks up again. “Yeah, okay. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Actually maybe don’t say that—"

“Time to break some rich bitches’ hearts!” Zooey booms, topping it off with some evil laughter.

Kimrean dashes out of the office, logical right hand remembering the gun on the way out; Adrian’s voice trails behind them like a banner: _“YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T GOING TO FLIRT!”_


End file.
